welcome. everything I write here is something I felt to be important to some degree; game reviews, life updates/vents, and philosophical musings. I do my best to make my statements truthful. everyone is welcome to post comments, provided they are relevant.

DocTabasco's Game List

DocTabasco's Game List

DocTabasco's Game List

I have a lot of games. Here's a list of hard and digital console copies I can find in my library. Click on a title for a brief description. Asterisk (*) indicates I own a more recent version of the same game.

PlayStation 1
Bust A Groove Google Search

Genre: Music / Rhythm
Dance off against opponents by pressing a sequence of buttons. The last button in a sequence has to be in time to the beat. Successful sequences unlock combos for higher scores. Attack opponents by using special attack sequences.
Catchy music.

Chrono Cross Google Search

Genre: RPG
An island boy has his life ruined when he discovers an alternate universe where he's dead. Recruits a small army of misfits that can only travel in groups of three on the quest for a better plot.
Epic music.

Chrono Trigger Google Search

Genre: RPG
A suburban boy has his life ruined when his best friend invents a teleporter that sends the princess to the past. Accidentally learns when the apocalypse is due. Recruits a team of misfits to repair fuck with the timeline and stop the apocalypse.
Epic music.

Einhänder Google Search

Genre: Shmup
A lone pilot from the moon is sent to Earth on a suicide mission to gather intel and blow shit up. Pick up weapons from downed enemies. Enemies and bosses have destructable parts and weak points.
Awesome music.

Final Fantasy IV Google Search

Genre: RPG
A knight and his friend suspect their king is evil. Their next mission together kicks off a quest for redemption, spanning the entire world, and beyond.

Final Fantasy V Google Search

Genre: RPG
A princess looks for her father, who departed to investigate why the world's magic is fading. Or something. That's as far as I got.

Final Fantasy VI Google Search

Genre: RPG
A girl is led by some soldiers to recover a magic entity frozen in ice, but is instead freed from her captors and learns to use magic, a rare talent in a land where magic energy is used like gasoline. Features an evil clown.

Final Fantasy VII * Google Search

Genre: RPG
A man with a giant sword follows an extremist group into a power plant fueled by the planet's energy. His migraines cause him to slowly become unbearable. Become a master of chocobo breeding and racing to win the game. ;)
I own this on PC and PSN, too.

Final Fantasy VIII * Google Search

Genre: RPG
A young man with a gun/sword graduates from bad-ass school. His expertise in being a twat lands him a squad leader position. Somehow finds a love interest. Lots of time shenanigans, and a moon that bleeds monsters.

Final Fantasy IX Google Search

Genre: RPG
A young man with a tail goes on a mission to rescue kidnap a princess. Almost fails because she's already trying to escape. Black mages everywhere. A race of identical clown-chefs addicted to frogs. I don't know.

Klonoa: Door to Phantomile * Google Search

Genre: Platformer
Some kind of dog-boy with flappy ears finds a ring with a bubble-kid inside it and they become BFFs. A girl lands on top of a mountain and then kidnapped by some shady blokes that sic a monster on you. Adventure ensues.
Characters speak in nonsense language except for proper names.
I have a digital copy on PS3

Lunar 2: Eternal Blue COMPLETE Google Search

Genre: RPG
A boy searches for treasure with his pet flying cat dragon friend and finds a naked woman from the neighboring moon, who is super demanding and completely clueless. The trek to lead her to the Godess is fraught with shenanigans and anime clips.
A lot of voice-overs.

Metal Gear Solid Google Search

Genre: "Tactical Espionage Action"
A retired SpecOp is launched solo from a submarine to infiltrate a "nuclear disposal facility" taken over by a group called Fox Hound. Stares at a female soldier's ass so hard he halucinates. Lots of drama, because Kojima. Metal Gear.

Tomba Google Search

Genre: Platformer
A boy has his family heirloom stolen by evil pigs. The quest for all the bacon begins. Learn abilities by literally biting people.


PlayStation 2
.hack//INFECTION Google Search

Genre: Action RPG
A boy is shown a MMO by his friend, but then the friend goes into a coma after he fails to git gud. The boy is given hax. The quest to git gud begins. MON AMI~
Game 1 of 4

.hack//MUTATION Google Search

Genre: Action RPG
See .hack//INFECTION. Game 2 of 4

.hack//OUTBREAK Google Search

Genre: Action RPG
See .hack//MUTATION. Game 3 of 4

.hack//QUARANTINE Google Search

Genre: Action RPG
See .hack//OUTBREAK. Game 4 of 4

Amplitude Google Search

Genre: Music / Rhythm
Press buttons in time with the music to activate instrument tracks and complete the song. No plot, just music and trippy visuals.

Ape Escape 2 Google Search

Genre: Platformer
A boy tries to take shortcuts when doing chores and ends up empowering an overzealous albino monkey. Adults refuse to take responsibility. Use analog controls to spank monkeys.

Ape Escape 3 Google Search

Genre: Platformer
A pair of siblings set out to end brain-shrinking television programs being recorded by monkeys. Adults refuse to take responsibility. Become Magical Girl/Super Sentai. Use analog controls to spank monkeys. MESAL GEAR.

Beyond Good & Evil * Google Search

Genre: Action / Platformer / Espionage
A bad-ass photographer discovers the truth about her planet's "protectors" and more. Also, her uncle is a pig, I guess? Conduct an audit of all species while avoiding detection.
I also own this on PC and XBox 360.

Dark Cloud 2 Google Search

Genre: Action RPG
A boy discovers his family heirloom is a magic artifact being hunted by evil clowns. The mayor is a pussy trying to hide how useless he is. Take pictures of everything and craft better gear. Punch things in a robot named Steve. Rebuild towns using a flying wood robot made by dwarf-gnomes. Unlock the girl's cat outfit after a billion hours of impossible mini-golf.

Dr. Muto Google Search

Genre: Platformer
Mad Scientist makes machine that accidentally blows up the world. Sets out to build a machine to rebuild the world. Turns himself into various abominations. Constantly ridiculed by his AI assistant.

Final Fantasy X * Google Search

Genre: RPG
A star sportsball player gets eaten by a gazebo. Spends rest of game trying to get revenge on gazebo.
I also own this on PS3 and PS4. I didn't know they were gonna release it on PS4 when I got the PS3 copy...

Final Fantasy X-2 * Google Search

Genre: RPG / Fashion Show
Girl from previous game searches for information about sportsball player from previous game. Can't decide what to wear.
I also own this on PS3 and PS4. Don't really care about it anyway.

Final Fantasy XII Google Search

Genre: Automagic RPG
A boy gets angry about everything, ends up going on an adventure anyway. Bunny girls.

God of War * Google Search

Genre: Action
Man joins army, kills everyone, becomes servant of the gods, kills everyone else.
I have this on PS3.

God of War 2 * Google Search

Genre: Action
Man kills everyone, then kills gods, I guess.
I have this on PS3.

Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories Google Search

Genre: Action / Open World
I never got into this one. I think it's about Tony from GTA3.

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas * Google Search

Genre: Action / Open World
Man returns to home town after mom dies. Immediately blackmailed by cops. Homies make him do retarded shit genius operations. Spend entire game maxing out stats, taking over gangs, and collecting cars.
I also own this on PC

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City * Google Search

Genre: Action / Open World
Man does time for mafia, given one more job, job goes south, expected to recover losses with no support. Spend entire game running errands, taking over properties, and collecting cars.
I also own this on PC

Haven: Call of the King Google Search

Genre: Action / Platformer
A boy has a dream about calling the king. Overlord sends people to off him and everyone he knows. A mash-up of various types of gameplay, none of it done well. Best ending ever.

Ico * Google Search

Genre: Adventure / Platformer
A boy is locked in a castle by racists. During his escape, he finds a girl in a cage and breaks her out too. She turns out to be the magical girl destined to "inherit" the castle, but who gives a fuck about that? Beat up shadows with whatever's lying around.
I also own this for PS3

Shadow of the Colossus * Google Search

Genre: Platformer / Arm-flailing Sim
A boy brings a dead girl to a forbidden temple in the middle of nowhere. Friendly disembodied voice offers to help if he destroys the colossi. This couldn't possibly have a downside.
I also own this for PS3

Jak & Daxter * Google Search

Genre: Platformer
A boy is destined to save the world, despite being a total spaz. Spend entire game ogling the sage's daughter instead. Annoying friend gets turned into annoying animal friend. Trades 90 precursor orbs for a power cell.
I also own this for PS3

Jak 2 * Google Search

Genre: Action / Platformer
The boy's girlfriend builds a mysterious portal, and unleashes a terrible evil that also sends them all to a strange land of guns and hoverbikes. Boy gets pumped full of dark energy and decides to seek vengeance. Spend entire game ogling the baron's daughter instead.
I also own this for PS3

Jak 3 * Google Search

Genre: Action / Platformer
Despite saving the world twice, boy is exiled to the desert, and joins the Exiles. Gains angel powers just before the aliens come to take over. Asked to save the world by talking rats. Spend rest of game ogling annoying friend's girlfriend instead.
I also own this for PS3

Jak X: Combat Racing Google Search

Genre: Combat Racing
Boy goes to will reading of notorious crime boss he worked for. Gets blackmailed by crime boss' daughter into competing in brutal death race. Spend rest of game ogling crime boss' daughter instead

Katamari Damacy Google Search

Genre: Puzzle Action / Japan
King of All Cosmos breaks everything except Earth. Refuses to take responsibility. Fix cosmos by rolling up everything on Earth. Seems legit.

We ♥ Katamari Google Search

Genre: Puzzle Action / Japan
King of All Cosmos can't be bothered to listen to people's prayers. Roll up everything on Earth to make people happy.

Kingdom Hearts * Google Search

Genre: Action RPG
A boy wields a mysterious key-blade after his crush and his rival open a door that causes their world to disappear into darkness. Aided by the two most annoying Disney characters ever. Fight Sephiroth.
I also own this for PS3

Kingdom Hearts 2 * Google Search

Genre: Action RPG
A boy wields a mysterious key-blade after all his ------ are stolen. No, wait, it's actually the boy from the last game - SoraDonaldGoofy. Tears of joy after you reunite with your crush rival? Fight Sephiroth.
I also own this for PS3

Klonoa 2: Lunatea's Veil Google Search

Genre: Platformer
Some kind of dog-boy with flappy ears falls out of the sky and is rescued by a priestess and a puppet-thing. Try to solve the world's problems. Make everything worse instead.

Kya: Dark Lineage Google Search

Genre: Action Platformer
A girl and her half-brother find a portal in their basement and get sucked in. Punch wolf-jerks until they become helpful jerks. Spend entire game watching girl stretch instead.

LEGO Star Wars Google Search

Genre: Action Platformer
It's star wars with silly animations instead of dialogue. Build things to progress.

Maximo: Ghosts to Glory Google Search

Genre: Action Platformer
Lord Maximo returns home from war to find kingdom usurped by wizard and dies. Death upset that wizard is stealing all the other souls and sends you back to get them. Challenging.

Maximo VS The Army of Zin Google Search

Genre: Action Platformer
An army of soul-powered robots is taking over. Death takes a more hands-on approach this time. More weapons.

Megaman X Collection Google Search

Genre: Platformer
Every Megaman X game. I only like the first one though.

Okami * Google Search

Genre: Action Platformer / Adventure
Wolf-god wakes up after everyone's forgotten about them. Fights off a terrible evil. Doesn't know when to quit. Followed by a pervy bug-man.
I also own this for PS3

The Rise of the Kasai Google Search

Genre: Action
Sequel to Mark of Kri, which was either about making stealth kills or brutally murdering assholes. I don't really remember this at all.

Vexx Google Search

Genre: Platformer
A boy gets captured by demons, and discovers a powerful artifact. Told by totally trustworthy old man to collect demon hearts. Play pong on a giant CRT television. Expert-level platforming.

Wild Arms 3 Google Search

Genre: RPG
I don't really remember anything about this one.

Xenosaga vol. 1 Google Search

Genre: RPG
A girl develops a sexy humanoid android that can solidify mysterious aliens. Shit gets weird.

Ys: The Ark of Napishtim Google Search

Genre: Action RPG
A young man gets shipwrecked for the millionth time on another island blessed by another godess. Kills giant bosses. Gets hit on by loli.

Ratchet & Clank * Google Search

Genre: Action Platformer
A robot discovers a plan to destroy planets, tries to warn alleged superhero. Gets help from a furry mechanic instead. Buy guns. Uses wrench instead.
I also own this for PS3

Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando * Google Search

Genre: Action Platform
Furry mechanic gets hired to retrieve biological experiment from mysterious operative. Guns gain experience. Use wrench anyway.
I also own this on PS3

Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal * Google Search

Genre: Action Platformer
Furry mechanic's home planet gets attacked by mad robot scientist trying to turn all organics into robots. Guns still gain experience. Still using the wrench anyway.
I also own this on PS3

Ratchet & Clank: Deadlocked Google Search

Genre: Action
Furry Mechanic gets kidnapped, forced to compete in combat arena. Contrived mission-based levels strung together by terrible writing.

Sly Cooper and the Thievius Racoonus * Google Search

Genre: Stealth Platformer
Racoon boy's family killed before his eyes, family thievery instruction manual stolen. Becomes thief anyway, only steals from criminals. Chased by fox police officer.
I also own this for PS3

Sly 2: Band of Thieves * Google Search

Genre: Stealth Action Platformer
Racoon discovers old enemy's remains in a museum, ties to steal them but they're already gone. Spend entire game feeling up fox hunting them down.
I also own this for PS3

Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves * Google Search

Genre: Stealth Action Platformer
Racoon discovers location of family vault. Vault is on island legally owned by asshole monkey. Nearly die, spend entire game in flashback of foxy lovin' events leading up to the island mission.
I also own this on PS3... but this one came with 3D glasses (the red/blue kind)


Playstation 3
Hard Copy
Alice: Madness Returns * Google Search

Genre: Platformer
Alice is seeing a shrink. This doesn't seem to be going well for Alice. Any time things are going bad for her, she sinks into Neverland. In her quest to fix the problems therein, she learns something troubling about her preconceptions. Trippy, beautiful, maddening.
I have this on Steam.

Assassin's Creed II Google Search

Genre: Stealth Action / Open World
Ezio inherits his father's assassin job and goes after the jerks that publicly executed his family. Spends entire game sexing up the ladies anyway. Desmond is still a shit name.

Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood Google Search

Genre: Stealth Action / Open World
Ezio gets other people to do the dirty work while he sexes up the ladies. Desmond is starting to lose his shit.

Assassin's Creed: Revelations Google Search

Genre: Stealth Action / Open World
Ezio is an old fart chasing ghosts. Fewer bad Italian accents, more bad Arabian accents. Desmond has completely lost it.

Batman: Arkham Asylumn * Google Search

Genre: Stealth Action
Joker gets arrested, takes over Arkham. Zsasz is a joke, Harley is useless, Bane is a push-over, Scarecrow is amazing, Ivy gets back in her box, Croc is all tock, Joker can't tell a joke to save his life.
I have this on Steam.

Batman: Arkham City * Google Search

Genre: Stealth Action / Open-ish World
Bruce Wayne tries petitioning for enlarged Arkham facility to be shut down, gets taken inside by private security. Dr. Strange convinced he's Batman. Joker still messed up from previous game, forces Batman to find cure for ailment.
I have this on Steam.

Beyond: Two Souls Google Search

Genre: Interactive Movie - Supernatural
Ellen Page is tied to a disembodied spirit, becomes secret agent, life memories out of order, fights demons, Willem Dafoe ruins everything.

Brütal Legend * Google Search

Genre: Action Adventure RTS (it sneaks up on you)
Jack Black at his best - off camera and being the champion of METAL. Spends entire game trying to make out with bad-ass hottie.
I have this on Steam.

Darksiders * Google Search

Genre: Action Adventure
War the Horseman gets summoned prematurely, framed for causing the apocalypse. Kills everyone involved.
I have this on Steam.

Dead Space 3 * Google Search

Genre: Action Survival
Isaac is somehow not dead yet. Everyone else is, except for his ex and her boyfriend. Figures.
I have this on Origin.

Dragon Age: Origins * Google Search

Genre: RPG
Your life is ruined. You join a clan of demon slayers. Demons slay them instead. Spend entire game trying to get in everyone's loincloth.
I have this on Steam.

Final Fantasy X | X-2 HD * Google Search

Genre: RPG
A star sportsball player gets eaten by a gazebo. Spends rest of game trying to get revenge on gazebo.

Girl from previous game searches for information about sportsball player from previous game. Can't decide what to wear.

I have these for PS2 and PS4

God of War Collection Google Search

Genre: Action
Man joins army, kills everyone, becomes servant of the gods, kills everyone else, then kills gods.
I own these on PS2

Grand Theft Auto V * Google Search

Genre: Action / Asshole Sim / Open World
Three old criminals and a hustler get tied up in government shenanigans when one of them breaks his witness protection cover.
I own this through Rockstar Social Club.

Heavenly Sword Google Search

Genre: Action
Girl is being prevented from realizing her destiny. Realizes it anyway. Unfair boss QTE finishers. DO NOT BUY THE HEAVENLY SWORD MOVIE IT IS PURE SHIT.

Heavy Rain Youtube

Genre: Interactive Movie / Mystery
Some guy lets his retarded son wander off into traffic. Becomes target of serial killer. Also play as a drug addict, a detective, and a cougar.

Ico | Shadow of the Colossus HD Google Search

Genre: Platformer
A boy is locked in a castle by racists. During his escape, he finds a girl in a cage and breaks her out too. She turns out to be the magical girl destined to "inherit" the castle, but who gives a fuck about that? Beat up shadows with whatever's lying around.
-
A boy brings a dead girl to a forbidden temple in the middle of nowhere. Friendly disembodied voice offers to help if he destroys the colossi. This couldn't possibly have a downside.
I also have these for PS2.

Infamous Google Search

Genre: Action Adventure / Open World
Some asshole gains power over electricity. Fights himself for the entire game.

Jak and Daxter Collection Google Search

Genre: Action Platformer
A boy is destined to save the world, despite being a total spaz. Spend entire game ogling the sage's daughter instead. Annoying friend gets turned into annoying animal friend. Trades 90 precursor orbs for a power cell.
-
The boy's girlfriend builds a mysterious portal, and unleashes a terrible evil that also sends them all to a strange land of guns and hoverbikes. Boy gets pumped full of dark energy and decides to seek vengeance. Spend entire game ogling the baron's daughter instead.
-
Despite saving the world twice, boy is exiled to the desert, and joins the Exiles. Gains angel powers just before the aliens come to take over. Asked to save the world by talking rats. Spend rest of game ogling annoying friend's girlfriend instead.
I own these for PS2.

Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 ReMIX Google Search

Genre: Action Adventure
A boy wields a mysterious key-blade after his crush and his rival open a door that causes their world to disappear into darkness. Aided by the two most annoying Disney characters ever. Fight Sephiroth.
-
Two filler games that I know almost nothing about.
I have Kingdom Hearts (NTSC) on PS2.

Kingdom Hearts HD 2.5 ReMIX Google Search

Genre: Action Adventure
A boy wields a mysterious key-blade after all his ------ are stolen. No, wait, it's actually the boy from the last game - SoraDonaldGoofy. Tears of joy after you reunite with your crush rival? Fight Sephiroth.
-
Two more filler games I haven't played.
I have Kingdom Hearts 2 (NTSC) for PS2.

Little Big Planet Google Search

Genre: Platformer with level editor
Mario clone made awkward because of layer system. Penises everywhere. 4 player online co-op.

Metal Gear Solid 4 Google Search

Genre: Tactical Espionage Action
War has changed. Burnt eggs. Metal Gear.

Ni No Kuni Google Search

Genre: RPG | Pokemon
A boy's mom dies, hallucinates a world where his mom's doppelganger just needs a hug. Only redeeming factor; Drippy.

Overlord II * Google Search

Genre: Action / Squad Command
The world has shunned magic because of someone that is somehow more evil than you. Kill them.
I also have this on Steam.

Ratchet & Clank Collection Google Search

Genre: Action Platformer
A robot discovers a plan to destroy planets, tries to warn alleged superhero. Gets help from a furry mechanic instead. Buy guns. Uses wrench instead.
-
Furry mechanic gets hired to retrieve biological experiment from mysterious operative. Guns gain experience. Use wrench anyway.
-
Furry mechanic's home planet gets attacked by mad robot scientist trying to turn all organics into robots. Guns still gain experience. Still using the wrench anyway.
I own these on PS2 as well.

Red Dead Redemption Google Search

Genre: Action / Open World
Some guy tries having a family. Becomes outlaw somehow. I never got into this.

Resident Evil 5 Google Search

Genre: Action
Investigate bio-organic weapons use in Africa. Spend entire game ogling your partner.

The Sly Collection Google Search

Genre: Stealth Action Platformer
Racoon boy's family killed before his eyes, family thievery instruction manual stolen. Becomes thief anyway, only steals from criminals. Chased by fox police officer.
-
Racoon discovers old enemy's remains in a museum, ties to steal them but they're already gone. Spend entire game feeling up fox hunting them down.
-
Racoon discovers location of family vault. Vault is on island legally owned by asshole monkey. Nearly die, spend entire game in flashback of foxy lovin' events leading up to the island mission.
I own these on PS2 as well.

Sly Cooper: Thieves In Time Google Search

Genre: Stealth Action Platformer
Racoon's friends build a time machine for some reason. Spend entire game ogling belly-dancing fox repairing history.

Uncharted: Drake's Fortune Google Search

Genre: Action Adventure
Convinced to make documentary about archaeology. Spend entire game getting played by jerks instead.

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves Google Search

Genre: Action Adventure
Discover location of fountain of youth. Spend entire game getting played by women instead.


Digital Copy
PlayStation 1
Klonoa: Door to Phantomile Google Search

Genre: Platformer
Some kind of dog-boy with flappy ears finds a ring with a bubble-kid inside it and they become BFFs. A girl lands on top of a mountain and then kidnapped by some shady blokes that sic a monster on you. Adventure ensues.
Characters speak in nonsense language except for proper names.
I have a hard copy for PS1

Spyro the Dragon
Spyro Year of the Dragon
Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage
Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back
Crash Bandicoot
Final Fantasy VII
Final Fantasy VIII
Crash Bandicoot: WARPED
Alundra
Threads of Fate

Playstation 2
Katamari Damacy

PlayStation 3
Aaru's Awakening
Binary Domain
Bionic Commando ReArmed 2
BIT.TRIP Runner 2
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Catherine
DmC Devil May Cry
Dragon's Crown
Ducktales: Remastered
Dyad
echochrome
Everyday Shooter
Hotline Miami
ibb & obb
Kickbeat
LittleBigPlanet Karting
MGS 2
MGS 3
MGS Peace Walker
Okami HD
PAC-MAN Championship Edition DX
Puppeteer
Ratchet & Clank Collection (because I couldn't find my disc)
Ratchet & Clank Future: Quest for Booty
Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles
Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles
RESOGUN
Sam & Max: The Devil's Playhouse
Sherlock Holmes: Crimes and Punishments
Skullgirls Encore
Stealth Inc: A Clone in the Dark
WipEout HD


PlayStation 4
Destiny Google Search

Genre: FPS MMO


Shoot aliens.


Final Fantasy X | X-2 HD Google Search

Genre: RPG
A star sportsball player gets eaten by a gazebo. Spends rest of game trying to get revenge on gazebo.

Girl from previous game searches for information about sportsball player from previous game. Can't decide what to wear.

I have these for PS2 and PS3

Murdered: Soul Suspect Google Search

Genre: Spoopy Investigation
Detective gets murdered. Spends entire game chasing that goth booty the real culprits.

Ratchet & Clank Google Search

Genre: Action Platformer
Minor character retells a cinematic adaptation of the retelling of the original game series.


XBox 360
Hard Copy
Assassin's Creed Google Search

Genre: Stealth Action / Open World
Some asshole takes shit for granted, gets knocked down to initiate-rank. Spends entire game killing avoiding beggars and jumping off walls in the wrong direction. Desmond has no idea wtf is going on.

Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts Google Search

Genre: Vehicle Building
Did you think this was going to be a platformer? HA HA, NOPE.

Bioshock * Google Search

Genre: Action
A man gets plane-wrecked in the middle of a conveniently-placed underwater civilization that didn't pan out.
I have this on Steam.

Bully: Scholarship Edition * Google Search

Genre: School Sim / Open World
Be a bigger jerk than everyone. This is actually harder than it sounds when you're 4-feet tall. Spend entire game kissing girls.
I have this on Steam as well.

Crackdown Google Search

Genre: Action / Open World
You are granted super evolution powers in order to stop the gang violence. Spend entire game climbing buildings instead.

Enslaved: Odyssey to the West * Google Search

Genre: Action Adventure
Robots are taking over. A girl and her monkey must find a safe route home.
I have this on Steam.

Fable 2 Google Search

Genre: Action Adventure
Pursue your sister's dream of living in a castle until she gets killed. Spend entire game making babies seeking revenge.

Fable 3 Google Search

Genre: Action Adventure
Build a small army to revolt against your brother, King Douche. Discover he did nothing wrong. Make/adopt/enslave children.

Final Fantasy XIII * Google Search

Genre: RPG
23 hour tutorial. o_O
I have this on Steam.

Grand Theft Auto IV * Google Search

Genre: Action / Open World
COUSIN, LET'S GO DART BOWLING WHILE DRINKING BEEG AMERICAN TEETEES.
I have this on Steam.

Guitar Hero III Google Search

Genre: Music / Rhythm
SLOW RIIIDE, baBAAADAAA bowap, babowap TAKE IT EEEEASAAAYY

LEGO Indiana Jones Google Search

Genre: Action Platformer
Like the movies, but with no dialogue. Build things to progress.

Lost Planet: Extreme Condition * Google Search

Genre: Action
It's fucking cold outside. Kill aliens to fuel your heated exosuits.
I have this on Steam.

Marvel Ultimate Alliance Google Search

Genre: Action Beat-Em-Up
Force Wolverine to team up with Deadpool. Learn Marvel trivia between smack-down sessions. Unlock alllll the costumes.

Mass Effect 1,2,3 * Google Search

Genre: Action RPG
Be a paragon or a renegade, whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean. F--- up aliens, f--- aliens, get f---ed by aliens.
I own these on Origin.

Mirror's Edge * Google Search

Genre: First Person Parkour
Don't look down. I told you not to look down...
I have this on Steam.

Need For Speed: Most Wanted (2005) Google Search

Genre: Racing
Be undercover agent. Race better than all the other underground racers.

Need For Speed: Undercover Google Search

Genre: Racing
Be undercover cop. Race better than all the underground racers.

Overlord * Google Search

Genre: Action / Squad Command
Take over the Tolkien-esque post-Sauron parody world. Get an off-camera implied-BJ.
I have this on Steam.

PGR4 Google Search

Genre: Racing
Do not care.

Prey Google Search

Genre: Action
The native Americans were the right religion. Unfortunately, aliens cause the rapture anyway. Kill them for being the wrong religion.

Prince of Persia (2008) Google Search

Genre: Action Platformer
Try to steal valuable treasure, doom the world instead. Spend entire game chatting up the hot guardian.

Rockband Google Search

Genre: Music / Rhythm
Play drums, guitar, or vocals. Guaranteed public embarrassment.

Tomb Raider: Anniversary Google Search

Genre: Action Adventure
Hot brunette is tasked with finding artifacts. Spends time doing hand-stands instead

Tomb Raider: Underworld Google Search

Genre: Action Adventure
Hot brunette tries to find more portals to a mysterious realm. Mansion explodes.

Viva Piñata: Trouble in Paradise Google Search

Genre: Farming Sim?
Plant candy trees, attract piñata animals, kill them for delicious chocolate.


Digital Copy
Banjo-Kazooie
Banjo-Tooie
Beyond Good & Evil HD
Blocks That Matter
Braid
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
Comic Jumper
Geometry Wars Evolved
Hexic HD
I MAED A GAM3 W1TH Z0MB1ES!!!1 (sic)
Limbo
Penny Arcade OtRSPoD Episode 1
Penny Arcade OtRSPoD Episode 2
Psychonauts
RoboBlitz
Scott Pilgrim VS The World: The Game
Shadow Complex

Wii
Hard Copy
de Blob Google Search

Genre: Platformer
Racist communists remove all color from the world. Bring it back with a catchy beat.

de Blob 2 Google Search

Genre: Platformer
Racist communists remove all color from the world. Again. Bring it back with a catchy beat. Again.

Kirby's Dream Collection Google Search

Genre: Platformer
Replay all of Kirby's previous exploits in one convenient disc.

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword Google Search

Genre: Action Adventure
Fail to impress everyone. Set loose the Groose. Save the world anyway.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess * Google Search

Genre: Action Adventure
Your girl gets kidnapped, you get turned into a wolf, some magic imp taunts you forever. Save the world anyway.
I have this for Wii U.

Metal Slug Anthology Google Search

Genre: Action Arcade
Shoot bad guys, drive tanks, die a million times, save the world.

Metroid Prime Trilogy Google Search

Genre: Action Adventure
A powersuit-clad bounty hunter hunts down space pirates, spends entire series of tubes fighting their mutated experiments.

Monster Hunter Tri Google Search

Genre: Action Adventure
Hunt giant monsters and carve them up for weapon and armor in order to fight bigger monsters.
This game is available for Wii U, so I'd probably get that version instead of playing this.

No More Heroes Google Search

Genre: Action
Live the dream of doing chores to raise money for the privilege of using your energy sword to kill more impressive killers than yourself.

Rhythm Heaven Fever Google Search

Genre: Music / Rhythm
Complete a series of short rhythm challenges. Fall in love. Get high scores.

Sin & Punishment: Star Successor Google Search

Genre: Rail Shooter
A human and an alien work together to not die.

Super Mario Galaxy Google Search

Genre: Platformer
Bowser is making planets by stealing star power. Steal it back. Listen to a space princess tell a sad story.

Super Paper Mario Google Search

Genre: Platformer
Paper Mario goes Super when some outsider tries to destroy existence by hooking up Bowser and Peach. Yeah, that's the secret to destroying the Mario universe.

Super Smash Bros. Brawl Google Search

Genre: Fighting
I don't spend much time playing these games, and as such have no skill to show off here.

Rockstar Table Tennis Google Search

Genre: Sports
I tried this once and immediately regretted it.


Digital Copy
Super Mario Galaxy 2005
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest
Mario Party 2
Paper Mario
Star Fox 64
Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People 1-5
Super Mario 64
Super Mario World
Super Metroid
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

Wii U
Hard Copy
Bayonetta 1 & 2 Google Search

Genre: Action
Be a witch. Use your powers to be stealth-naked fight monsters that want to use your hot body powers of destiny for evil.

Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker Google Search

Genre: Puzzle Platformer
Run, not jump, into the quest for all the booty.

Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze Google Search

Genre: Platformer
A fleet of polar critters take over your island because of reasons. Evict them.

NES Remix Pack Google Search

Genre: Platformer
Relive the sweet spots of NES-era gaming, then take on some unique challenges based on them.

Pikmin 3 Google Search

Genre: Squad Command
Exploit the resources of a foreign land by enslaving its people.

Super Mario 3D World Google Search

Genre: Platformer
Be a cat, and do cat things, like beating up fire-breathing turtles that also turn into cats.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess HD Google Search

Genre: Action Adventure
Your girl gets kidnapped, you get turned into a wolf, some magic imp taunts you forever. Save the world anyway.
I have this for Wii, though that isn't HD.

The Wonderful 101 Google Search

Genre: Action
Save the city by deputizing its citizens into your superhero army of one.


Digital Copy
Game & Wario
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD

Metroid Fusion
Pilotwings
Super Mario 64
Yoshi's Island
Warioland 4
WarioWare Touched

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